The other day I looked at Emma’s eye and it had a small red area on the surface of her eyeball. It looked almost punctured and it sent me into a panic because I was sure that she had poked herself or scratched her cornea and this was her EYE after all!! What if she went blind or needed surgery? This is ALWAYS my train of thinking when it comes to the kids – I really take myself there! I am a major worrier! It only seems to get worse with age and it’s the one thing that I never seem to lack.
Me: “Does your eye hurt?”
Me: “How did it happen?”
Emma was unclear as to how it happened.. Sometimes it’s not always easy to spell things out. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to rest until I took her into the doctor.
I think about how my worry has effected me over the years. I reflect on all the hours spent in a state of crazed panic and fear over the children. How many years would those moments add up to? So many times I would lay awake at night and wonder and stress over Emma and how she felt and what she knew and how I could teach her. Making contact with her finally was like waking up with a large weight gone.
But even so, every day there is something new to stress over. As we sat in the doctor’s office, I prepared the ipad and asked Emma if she was worried, too.
Me: “Are you worried about your eye?”
Me: “Really? That’s good! I’m glad to hear that.”
I put my arm around her. She reached out to type more.
Emma: I know that God is ready to help me
Where does this incredible trust in God come from?! When I think of everything that Emma has dealt with in her life so far, I marvel that she wouldn’t be ten times more anxious and fearful than I am. And yet, in the midst of her struggles to fit into our world, she has this peace about her that continues to astound me.
My mom always said that faith is a gift from God. If that’s the case maybe faith is one of the greatest gifts we could ask for. Certainly when I think of Emma, I can’t help but to be thankful that she has this to help her out. Yep, I’ve been thinking A LOT about faith lately…
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. – Heb 11:1
Am I sure of what I hope for? It’s a really interesting question that I continue to reflect on.
Emma’s eye, it turned out, was just a mild inflammation that should go away in a few weeks.
Again, the uncomplicated confidence and trust of this child reminds me that we can overcome anything through our great Helper – that life is made sweeter by faith and the trust that if we let go, the arms of God reach out to embrace us for eternity.